natural.evolution–

I’ve been MIA for a little bit
I was out of town celebrating a graduation (yaay to my cousin for getting her master’s)
I’ve been prepping for school and this new lifestyle program I’m participating in… along with regular work crap, freelance work and trying to squeeze a social life in there

I also had some more pause and reflect moments and decided that a relationship with a particular person just wasn’t in the cards
although he looked great on paper and is a really standup guy, in the end his world and my world weren’t going to connect in the way I hoped
and makes no sense IMO forcing something together just because it looks good and others want it to work

I know I’m growing up because my friend was like “do you know what he makes?!?”
I do
and that still has no bearings on me wanting to be with him
because in the end that doesn’t matter

sometimes I reflect on a relationship of the past and think about how my selfishness and insecurities really messed up a good thing…
was he all I wanted in a guy
not completely
but all the things I thought I wanted then are just minor details in the big scheme of things and not what is REALLY important
when I reflect I think wow if I hadn’t have been such a hardass then perhaps…
but one never knows and at this point I guess that ship has sailed
but I’m totally appreciative and thankful for that opportunity because he really helped me set a precedent of how I should be treated and how I REALLY should treat a guy

I feel a little more settled now in a lot of ways
I’m not saying I’m ready to sit down and pop out babies back to back but I think I’m really starting to fully grasp how I’d like for my life to be
I want a well balanced succesful life
Like this whole school thing it’s helping me connect and get an entirely different set of skills
and the degree is outside the tiny box I’ve been in the last four years since I got my master’s
this could take me in a entire other direction in my career and thats what I want to do
this lifestyle program I’m participating in…
I’ve seen it change peoples attitude not only about their health but just living a better wholistic life
I feel like thats an element that is going to make me who I see myself as
I have an entire series of lessons lined up for the summer
I’m getting back on horses again and I’m pulling out the clubs so I can head to the driving range
I’m trying to make a better me
not for anyone else but for me

so much work to do
but it’s nothing I can’t handle

Discovering God’s unique plan for our lives is both humbling and inspiring: humbling because though we are but a drop in the ocean, the Creator of the universe has a plan for our individual lives; and inspiring as that plan becomes revealed and our unique talents and attributes get put to work in carrying it out.

The past week has been busy. I kind of had an epiphany one night that I really needed to stop being so complacent and decide if I was going to really live the life that I want and desire to have. So in the past week I’ve made some major changes. I asked God for assistance and direction in what I need to do. In a span of a week school is paid for, the director of the program I want to do called me yesterday saying she got my info and is excited to have me…. I consolidated some things so that I was able to pay off every credit card which is a miracle in its self… I’ve gotten back into activities I love like community service and sorority/n p h c stuff… and I’m back to running and really trying to get my body how I want it to be.

God is really revealing things to me and showing me changes I need to make and he’s taking away some distractions that I didn’t really realize were effecting my life as much as they do. I’ve had some obstacles and people that have tried to distract me but I’m standing my ground. I’m knocking goals off my list and making strides so that I can be the best Christen and Christian possible.

it’s something that is VERY important to me… Hopefully one day I can make a career completely out of service and giving back. With all that said here is something I’m participating in. If you can give that would be lovely. If not understood.

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” - Mahatma Gandhi

On Saturday, May 3, 2008, I will be volunteering along with 3,000 other Greater DC Cares volunteers as a part of the Greater Washington Region’s largest day of volunteer service — Servathon 2008!

Greater DC Cares volunteers and I will paint, clean, landscape, and revitalize more than 40 schools throughout the Washington DC public school system. In total, we expect to provide over $400,000 worth of services and supplies to these schools in just 5 hours!

Servathon is very much like a walk-a-thon or ride-a-thon. I am raising pledges for every hour that I will be volunteering in support of the incredible work of Greater DC Cares. Whatever you can give will be greatly appreciated and any amount will have a huge impact upon our community.

I would like to ask you to support me in my commitment to Servathon by making a contribution to support the fine work of Greater DC Cares to improve non-profits and schools in the region throughout the year. No donation is too small!

Your support of:

• $10 buys the landscape materials to revitalize the grounds of a high school
• $25 will help paint an elementary school classroom
• $50 will help restock a DC Public School library
• $150 will support a resume development training for students and parents
• $500 contributes to a jungle gym for a new playground
• $1,000 will help build a computer lab for students

Simply follow this link: http://servathon2008.kintera.org/christenm
to make a donation.

You may also make a donation by check. Please make checks payable to Greater DC Cares and mail to the following address:

Greater DC Cares
c/o Servathon Operations Coordinator
1725 I Street NW, Suite 200
Washington, DC 20006

By making a donation, you make it possible for Greater DC Cares to provide services and programs to volunteers, nonprofits and public schools for free of charge on May 3rd and throughout the rest of the year.

Thanks so much for supporting an event that is extremely important to me. Let’s take action together and support DCPS and Servathon 2008!

Thanks!
Christen

ago I wrote this

my world was shattered and a tiny part of it still is. But I thank God for him protecting and blessing my family these last two years. I miss my sister beyond words and there are moments today when I pick up the phone to call and tell her something and remember that she’s not going to answer. I think the hardest time has been major events, like when someone gets married its painful to me because I know that she knew me and she would be the one that did exactly what I wanted how I wanted because she simply just knew. Life is continuing though, my oldest nephew is preparing for high school, my niece is getting ready for junior high and my little munchkin is about to hit first grade. I think my brother in law is dating but he won’t say (well I know he is and she’s cool and you KNOW kids always slip lol). But we are trying to remember her and keep her in our hearts (I have no option I can never forget my best friend).

It’s funny that I ran into one of her good friends two weeks ago. She was telling me… you have no idea how much your sister loved you. She used to worry about you more then your mother. When you went to college she was a nervous wreck she kept saying “I hope she’s safe cause I know how I was.” When you pledged she was ready to come kick some ass if something happened to you, when you graduated she was so proud, when you went to grad school everyone in the office knew how smart you were. You were like her oldest child for such a long time then one day she realized hey she finally grew up and she was so proud that you were an adult and that you were her sister…

and I am so proud that she was my sister too

…I can get a lot done in 2.5 hours… I left work got a manicure, painful waxing, came home put a mask on, exfoliated, showered, made my face up and was in the car heading out between 5 and 7:30

…LittleItaly in Bmore has some excellent restaurants

…I’ve found another secret hideout spot to relax and clear my head

…Some people are undeserving of second chances… You say you got your life together for me, I’m reasonably happy where I am but I oblige you… evening goes perfect and then you manage to F it up in the latter part of the evening. I’m definitely not the same person I was two years ago and you shouldn’t be either

…Certain people and their actions make me realize that I could be comfortable settled in a relationship and I’m not as fearful as I thought

…I don’t usually like burgers but the sirloin burger my friends dad made is worth eating

…A party on a hot Saturday afternoon/evening with 20 women is going to be nothing but foolishness

…Don’t trust the punch at a party with 20 women on a Saturday afternoon. The sangria was a little potent but was workable but whoever decided to put ever.clear in punch (that was in a waterford crystal pitcher) for some grown women should be smacked… this is not college… it is not cute to be drunk

…Being one of two sober people with six friends after they drank the punch is no fun.

…Mall.Madness isn’t as fun as it used to be… we all ended up at the house and out of all the games for six 26/27 year olds to choose from we chose mall.madness

… I can’t stay out like I used to… getting home at 4 and having to be somewhere at 8 is not the business… I came home and took a 4 hour nap

…brunch might be my favorite meal… maybe it’s the free flowing champagne or the indulgent items I don’t normally eat (ex. lobster cobb salad) but I love it

…eating healthy is sorta expensive… this organic chicken is killing me… although I found this asian market that is HUGE and the produce, seafood and tofu there is ridiculously affordable

… I really love roasted brussel sprouts w/garlic

… I love thunder and lightening especially laying on the couch watching it hit up against the window

…Things I loved when I was little I still love now… there is a tree in my front yard that has pink blossoms. When it rains or the wind blows it covers the cars with pink petals and it smells so sweet… I used to love that when I was little, I still do now

why was my commute so perfect yesterday evening… it took me 25 min. to get home when its usually an hour… thanks pope
why are so many people in a tizzy that the pope wears prada.shoes… can’t he be fashionable and religious (I am lol)
why did I drop one of my favorite perfumes yesterday when I was taking my overnight bag out my trunk (had too many things in my hand)
why did the pink bottle shatter into little pieces on the street
why did my silly neighbor see the entire thing happen and say what’s that scent, something smells sweet over here
why did my other neighbor feel the need to tell me she likes my hair much better when its straight… did I ask for that random useless info
why has my friends wife been in labor since sunday… seriously that has to be torture
why does one of my favorite neo-soul/r&b singers go to my church now
why does it make me feel really self concious about singing and leading worship, because I know she could smoke me on the m-i-c lol
why do I know plenty of folks that have her cd, listen to her, even been to the concert and have sat next to her in church and never realized it lol
why is it feast or famine… now that I’m steps from a relationship.. people want to come out the woodworks professing love
why is one of my friends leaving me… he told me last night he’s going to war for two years
why am I really blown about that more because he’s married and a father of 5
why am I so fearful that something is going to happen to him… I know he’ll be okay because of what he does but it’s still that what if factor that scares me
why did he call me this morning like I know you worried all last night I should have never told you… I should have just disappeared for the 2 years lol
why do I love him so he always makes things better and gives the best advice
why was my commute so wonderful this morning… it took me 18 minutes to get to work… again thanks Pope, I need you to come to DC more often
why is their honey all over my desk at work lol
why did this idiot borrow my honey and sit the jar upside down but didn’t screw the lid on
why do I love honey so much
why is the starbux honey latte the nastiest thing I’ve ever tasted… even the barrista was like this ish sucks
why did my “honey” send me a letter in the mail… that made me grin ear to ear… I love handwritten correspondence
why am I still on here… I have a meeting in 1 minute… adios

I’m going to just stop apologizing for not writing on here as often as I should.
Life is busy as usual and when I’m online sometimes the last thing I want to do is write anything.

My “friend” was just telling me this morning I need to really start doing more for me. I’m stretching myself thin working on like 5 different projects and trying to appease people, he even told me to tell him no sometimes (that was a wooowww moment) lol.

I realized I haven’t been doing things that keep me sane like accupuncture, yoga and the gym and yesterday after this AMAZING thai yoga massage I felt so refreshed and I went to my favorite grocery store weg.mans and was like wow I haven’t been in a grocery store in a minute. I’ve been so busy I think I’ve eaten a meal at home five times in the last month and the last time I really cooked I can’t even say. So it’s time to take care of me because my body has been trying to tell me hey you are treating me bad so I’m rejecting you… part of the reason I havent written too is in the last three months I’ve been sick at least a week a month, with the flu, laryngitis and bronchitis.

But I’m better. My goal is to really get back on track with all the things I’ve neglected and sat aside to help others. So I’ve found a new yoga studio to do some classes at a few days a week and now that the weather is warming up I’m about to get back to running outdoors. I also have started filling out forms for another degree (lord help me). After yesterday I’m adding thai massage into my monthly rotation of spa treatments and I’m really going to get back to focusing on taking care of me.

I hope all of you are taking care of yourselves too

my granny
my mommy
my really good friends
reminiscing on the college years
my “new” family
my niece and nephews
an avocado with balsamic vinegar
running by the water
brunch with the girls
that perfect outfit
bright pink
sweet tea
a bouquet of flowers
a soft buttery leather bag
that feeling of excitement traveling somewhere new
getting dolled up and going on the town
getting flowers that I like (not roses)
skiing
foreign films
killer shoes
being on the water
singing
dancing
the ocean
a nice glass of pink champagne
spring time
taking pictures
outdoor concerts
butterflies
children’s laughter
cooking
sitting by the fire
making others happy
life

But feeling a lot better. Actually extremely better. I’m really blessed that I’m not as sick as some other co-workers. Folks are out with bronchitis, the flu, strep, and pneumonia… And to think we work in healthcare.

I’ve been really treating myself with natural remedies this time. I try to stay away from “drugs” as much as possible. Every night I’ve been making my ginger-honey-lemon/lime concoction, I’ve been juicing oranges and grapefruits and anything in the citrus family like crazy trying to get that vitamin c, been taking my b vitamins and my cayenne pepper capsules and my multi-vitamins and I’m feeling so much better without the sluggish I’ve been using meds feeling.

I’m actually ready to hit the gym but I feel like I’d be the dummy passed out on the treadmill because I should have relaxed a few more days.

Today I think I’m going to take a half day and take care of me a little more. Going to get waxed and a pedi and manicure and then going home and making a pot of tea and sleep until my meeting tonight.

Now that the conference is over there is pretty much nothing to do in the office anyway and I have a lot of comp time to use. Might as well make use of it.

I need a little quiet time today anyway. It’s the 10th anniversary of my brothers passing. I’ll NEVER forget him and how great of a big brother he was to me. How extremely over protective he was, his infectious smile or his laugh. I miss having him as a part in my life and he always wanted the best for his little sister so I’m going to treat myself today.

Have a great day folks

I’ve been neglecting this blog. But it was kind of for a good reason. Kind of.

We had a really huge conference at work and usually I’m just in the assistant capacity but my boss decided she was just too busy (procrastination) and put me in charge of the communications and media plan for the event. So I had about a month to do what others have usually had two to three months to put together.

Of course it got done but these past few weeks I was putting in 10-12 hour days and then the conference came and my contractor decided hey we’ll let her stay at the hotel, which was great since it was in town and saved me time on commuting, BUT it was bad because I was there 24 hours a day. So this past week the conference came. My work day was about 6:30/7 am to anywhere between 8-10pm from Sunday to Thursday. I met a lot of great names in government, military leaders and soldiers who are innovators, a few actors and overall some great people. My face was out there, people now know who I am and I think I did a damn good job.

But I was drained.

So drained that I I’ve been sleep the past three days. I left the house for 4 hours yesterday to go to the bank, to the apothecary and to get groceries. I woke up this morning with a 99 degree fever and no voice. My specialist said its probably due to fatigue. I was pissed. Of all Sundays to be sick not super.bowl Sunday. I couldn’t go to any of the 4 parties I was invited to because I felt like crap in general.

I think I’m calling out tomorrow. Which I hate doing on Mondays. Especially after a big event (they might think I have a hangover lol) but I feel like crap and I have the leave (especially after all that comp time I earned this past month).

I may go to the sauna and try “sweating out the cold” if I do call out. Somethings gotta give.