I am hurting so much right now I can’t even explain it. It’s a story that I don’t want to explain. But unexpectedly my sister is gone. My big sister who I looked up to wanted to be like and secretly admired is gone. I ache so bad. My soul is hollering the tears won’t stop flowing. My niece and nephews no longer have a mom, my brother in law no longer has a wife, I no longer have a sister and I don’t know what I’m going to do. Who will I tell my secrets, who will be my matron of honor when I get married, who will be in the delivery room with me when I have my babies, who will spoil me, and tell me to watch out for boys, who will be my sister. I am SO EMPTY. I can’t explain it. I want people to stop asking me what happened does it matter she’s not here I want them to stop asking how am I I’ll never see my sister again what do you think I want people to stop running in and out of her house if you didn’t see her when she was alive then don’t come now. I’m hurt. I’m pissed. I’m angry. I want to literally scream at the top of my lungs. I don’t know when I’ll be back because the pain I feel right now has me in no mood to write or share my thoughts.
My world has been shattered into a billion little pieces.
I have chills all over my body because I know exactly how you are feeling. I went through this when my brother passed away…..please, if you need to ever just talk, cry, anything, I am here for you. I want you to know that. I will be praying for you sister, praying that God brings healing and peace in your heart and in your family. We don’t know why these things happen, only God does. But it still hurts. I love you girl. God bless you. You are not alone. Your hurt is my hurt, and I will make it a point to stay in touch with you and see how you are doing. *xoxo*
Comment by fran — April 24, 2006 @ 11:57 am
you’re in my prayers.
Comment by courtney — April 24, 2006 @ 1:37 pm
My condolensces to you and your family. I didn’t know your sister but I felt like I knew her or at least the big sister “her” from reading your blog over the last year and a half.
Comment by Honest — April 24, 2006 @ 3:49 pm
Oh my God…
I am just so sorry to hear this. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I can’t even imagine the pain you must be going through right now. You are most definitely in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*
Comment by Sunnchine — April 24, 2006 @ 6:30 pm
i am so sorry to read this. this is my first time here and i’m sending you all i have. i’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Comment by aquababie — April 24, 2006 @ 7:40 pm
I’m so sorry to hear this. Please know you are in my prayers. Please don’t be afraid to tell people how you feel. She was your sister! They need to respect that.
*hugs*
Comment by Joann — April 24, 2006 @ 8:21 pm
Peace be with you and your entire family.
Comment by geminilive — April 24, 2006 @ 9:57 pm
I am new to your blog and this blogging community altogether, but I want to extend my condolences to you and your family at this terrible time.
Comment by SistahGeek — April 24, 2006 @ 11:45 pm
OMG… I will be praying for you and your family. I am soooo sorry that you and your family are going through this. I pray that the Lord comforts you and your family.
Comment by Nefertiti0906 — April 25, 2006 @ 5:14 pm
I’m praying. Take all the time you need. A loss like that is no small thing. I can’t say I know the pain because I don’t.
Comment by princessdominique — April 25, 2006 @ 5:42 pm
I wam so sorry sweety! You are in my thoughts.
Comment by Carolyn — April 25, 2006 @ 7:31 pm
As someone who lost a brother, I know the pain and sorrow of your loss. I extend my deepest sympathy to you and your family. I hope you able to find comfort and peace somehow, someway. God Bless.
Comment by Keish — April 25, 2006 @ 10:23 pm
I know that God will hold your hands and carry you and your family every step of the way. My heart truly goes out to you, my sister. Much love and peace.
Comment by Khaya — April 26, 2006 @ 6:46 pm
I came here to leave my condolences. I wish there was more I could do. It makes me soooooo sad to read this. I remember all your posts and how close the two of you were. I ache for you. And will definitely pray for you and your family.
May God bless you, Chris. And I know He will.
Respect …
Comment by Will — April 26, 2006 @ 8:48 pm
Damn.
May the good Lawd give you the strength you and your family needs to cope and to heal.
Comment by Brutha Code — April 26, 2006 @ 9:53 pm
This is my first time on your blog but all of my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family right now.
Comment by Di — April 26, 2006 @ 10:29 pm
hey cb
i hope you know who this is.i just wanted to leave my condolensces to your family and the kids.i didnt know your sister personally but i feel like i did from all of your stories. your sister lead a wonderful and full life.when reading your stories i often wished i had an older sister. anyway i just want you to know that i am here for you if you wanna cry, scream, talk or just want to pray.take as long as you want to get your self together, we will all be here for you.
(((BIG HUGS)))
luciana
Comment by luciana — April 26, 2006 @ 10:40 pm
I am also praying for you and your family.
Comment by c2a — April 28, 2006 @ 9:13 am
Wow…Well my prayers go up for you…I’ll keep you posted
Comment by G. Cornelius — April 28, 2006 @ 3:10 pm
You are in my prayers…
Comment by Chosen — April 29, 2006 @ 2:52 pm
I love you CC.. please stay strong…
Comment by Tola — May 4, 2006 @ 4:51 pm
OMG! I am so undone and so late. My prayers are with you and your family. You told such wonderful stories about your sister.
I pray you never lose the wonderful memories that you can share with your neice and nephew.
Comment by Singing — May 14, 2006 @ 10:55 pm