natural.evolution–

I’ve been MIA for a little bit
I was out of town celebrating a graduation (yaay to my cousin for getting her master’s)
I’ve been prepping for school and this new lifestyle program I’m participating in… along with regular work crap, freelance work and trying to squeeze a social life in there

I also had some more pause and reflect moments and decided that a relationship with a particular person just wasn’t in the cards
although he looked great on paper and is a really standup guy, in the end his world and my world weren’t going to connect in the way I hoped
and makes no sense IMO forcing something together just because it looks good and others want it to work

I know I’m growing up because my friend was like “do you know what he makes?!?”
I do
and that still has no bearings on me wanting to be with him
because in the end that doesn’t matter

sometimes I reflect on a relationship of the past and think about how my selfishness and insecurities really messed up a good thing…
was he all I wanted in a guy
not completely
but all the things I thought I wanted then are just minor details in the big scheme of things and not what is REALLY important
when I reflect I think wow if I hadn’t have been such a hardass then perhaps…
but one never knows and at this point I guess that ship has sailed
but I’m totally appreciative and thankful for that opportunity because he really helped me set a precedent of how I should be treated and how I REALLY should treat a guy

I feel a little more settled now in a lot of ways
I’m not saying I’m ready to sit down and pop out babies back to back but I think I’m really starting to fully grasp how I’d like for my life to be
I want a well balanced succesful life
Like this whole school thing it’s helping me connect and get an entirely different set of skills
and the degree is outside the tiny box I’ve been in the last four years since I got my master’s
this could take me in a entire other direction in my career and thats what I want to do
this lifestyle program I’m participating in…
I’ve seen it change peoples attitude not only about their health but just living a better wholistic life
I feel like thats an element that is going to make me who I see myself as
I have an entire series of lessons lined up for the summer
I’m getting back on horses again and I’m pulling out the clubs so I can head to the driving range
I’m trying to make a better me
not for anyone else but for me

so much work to do
but it’s nothing I can’t handle

I’m into planning… and you know people have to save lol… Miami or LA for the birthday? Miami= warm weather sunshine and nonstop partying.. LA= catching up with some old friends, a little fun and some grown up activities

Your hands on my hips pull me right back to you, I Catch that thrust give it right back to you…. so not the lyrics you want to sing in your office… but I’m so looking forward to that concert

Who “forgets” to call in sick three days in a row ON TOP OF coming to work late EVERY day and then gets mad when they are told “things aren’t working out” and they get fired

I lied. I said I had a man. I should have been more truthful. But I feel like that lie was so much easier then me saying I’m just not interested in you. Especially when this guy has asked me out before and I told him no thanks then.

Chocolate brown skin and locs or a bald head AND in a suit… nothing more beautiful and both just walked by

The wii is A.D.D.I.C.T.I.V.E.

Is it bad that I don’t want to go to my friends birthday party tomorrow because I want to go to a bar and watch football.

Cashmere… how I love thee. Those JCrew cashmere tee’s yessss

The purse I want would go on sale after my shopping fast began. I have willpower though.

If you haven’t been to Marvins-DC @ 14th and U you should go

cranberry-pomegranate juice and champagne… is the new drink of champions

time to go… massage and acupuncture appointment back to back… this evening should be bliss

The holidays are fast approaching. I haven’t done ANY shopping except for getting about 10 new CD’s and my mom’s birthday gift (tomorrow) which has nothing to do with Christmas. I just don’t feel like being out in the crowds and the rush. More than likely I’m doing 100 percent of my shopping online this year. Meaning I needed to order like yesterday. Is it sad that I know what I want for myself but have no clue what I’m getting anyone else.

Lately I’ve been such and introvert that people have been asking if I’m okay lol. People don’t realize I LIKE being alone having quiet time… reading, drinking tea, listening to my music, watching football (alot which has been QUITE disappointing) and having me time. I don’t know when folks will realize I do have a ball when I’m out but I really like my quiet time.

Along with asking am I okay. I also am getting asked when is the next event. I throw a party every year. I haven’t had one this year because I’ve been busy. Also because I have a car payment to make on top of those fabulous undergrad and grad school loans lol. Which means the normal fabulous party at Christen’s house amenities are on pause. Everyone claims they’ll be satisfied with a game night and snacks. But when I usually have a stocked bar, entrees, homemade desserts and treats for all my guests will it really be the same? Maybe I’ll have the anti-valentines day party I was going to throw this year (I don’t hate love or relationships lol just the holiday).

Speaking of relationships I think I may start dating again. So what if I’m busy allll the time. I make time for that I can make time for an occasional dinner, a good concert, busboys or a cup of tea.

Keite, Ledisi, Alice Smith, Choklat, Maysa, Coltrane, Roy Ayers- defintely got me through the weekend

Jill Scotts song Cel.ibacy Blues- autobiographical lol

My boss asked me if I’ve been looking for a new job lately. I said no (I’m always looking) and asked why. She said because I haven’t worn my curly afro hair in a month. “Curly Afro hair.” really. lmao. I was like it’s been straight because I have options. Curly afro hair though.

I’m trying to plan another international trip. Where to is the question. If I could I’d quit my job travel for a year and then re-enter society refreshed. I think I really need that.

I’m also thinking about the doctorate again. I need to just go ahead and do it. I wanted a second master’s but I want to be Dr. Christen more

I am looking forward to dinner at the Chart.house tonight. But I think I picked the worst day to go. Dinner on the waterfront when it’s cold and windy may not be the deal. I did get my mom this great cake though.

I hate traffic. But it’s time for me to go sit in some.

I’ve neglected this blog I know. But I’ve been uber busy. I write a blog for work and have been doing some freelancing so when it comes time to write on my own site I’m blank. I’ve also been doing some singing gigs which have been great as far as spare change is concerned but the pits as far as my time.

I went to Charlotte for thanksgiving last week and that helped me wind down a bit. All I wanted to do was just sleep. I’ve been so exhausted. Yesterday I fell asleep on the acupuncture table with needles in my ear stomach and feet lol. She put on that music and the next thing you know I woke up to her saying “okay I’m taking the needles out.” I was going to go to a yogalates class afterwards but I was drained. I only made it to the co-op healthfood store to get my acv and re-up on my organic tea and raw honey. While in there I saw a kit where you can make sushi at home in supposedly 10 minutes or less (I had to buy it because the last time I made sushi it was beyond 10minutes to do the first step). By the time I got home it was close to 8 and again all I wanted to do was sleep. I made a pot of tea and sat and drank it balled up in my armchair.

I’m overextended and I know it. I need to step back and see what activities I really think are neccesary in my life. But in my life they are all neccesary. I also need more of an outlet on the weekend that is not repetitive. But that falls into my case that I need new friends. But that is another blog for another day lol.

Back to the grind. Have a meeting to go to.
Until Next Time

I’m slacking in writing. But the thing is I’ve been really busy. I have yet another job.

Yes another aside from the gov’t job and the freelance job.

But it’s a great job. One that I actually love a lot and gives me the freedom to be as creative as I want and do what I want (I definitely can’t do that at the real 9-5) and I have the title “Director of…”. So it’s a blessing and a wonderful opportunity. Yes it’s tapped into my social life (i.e. dating lol) but thats cool it needs to be on pause for a minute anyway. Does it pay a lot? Absolutely not lol. But it’s enough to put some dents in my car and student loan and pay those demons named Nord.strom and Banana.Repub.lic off, pay my gym fee’s, and my lovely acupuncturist.

Speaking of my acupuncturist she is absolutely great. I just left the office and when I leave there I swear I feel like I just left therapy. We talk for 25minutes over tea then she gets to work. Right now we are working on digestion and I swear as soon as I walk out I’m cleared up lol. We are trying to remove some things from my diet. I’m struggggling with not eating dairy. Milk, sure but my organic cheese and yogurt is hard (as I sit here eating cheese and my new love pecan nut thin crackers). She also wants me to drink ginger everyday and that is sooo not my favorite flavor lol but she made me a drink with ginger and honey crystals I may be able to live with.

I’m really trying to get my life together completely. It’s a good life, a great life actually. But it’s unbalanced in a lot of ways and it’s a challenge but it’s coming along.

Cracked open one of the many bottles of wine that I brought back from SouthAfrica last night after reading about another South African wine on Rantings of a Creole Princess. This particular brand I tried in DC a few years ago and fell in love with it. I’m not a fan of Chardonnay but this was soo wonderful and refreshing and I wrote the name down…. not knowing some three years later I’d drive by the vineyard while in South Africa. So when I was there I made sure to get a bottle (or a 3). Along with a case from the vineyard I visited and a couple other bottles. I digress.

But when I opened that bottle last night and had it with seckel pear and gorgonzola salad I made (that was soo good). It seriously took me back to the evening three years ago when I had it for the first time. Remembered where I was sitting in the restaurant, who I was sitting with, time of day, what I had on, etc. I was sitting there like dag that was a good evening lol. That wine took me there. Then I started thinking about the person I was with and why was I even there with him and how much of jerk he was and how much of a fool I was even messing with him. The wine took me there. I then thought that I like him much better now as a person then I did then lol because I was so wrapped up in emotion and foolishness and thinking I was much more mature then what I really was. The wine took me there. Also made me think how much effort I put into making that evening great from the hair to the dress to the fragrance I wore. The wine took me there.

I was surprised at how the flavor, the scent and the memories associated with that wine transported me to another place in my mind. I love that wine but now I have to create some new memories with it, especially since I have 3 more bottles to go…

It’s been a busy Monday. Half of my office is out in various conferences and of course today would be the day when media calls are 3 times the usual. The weekend was also exhausting with the kidlets over for the weekend and then a birthday party and a brunch with friends Saturday night and Sunday morning. I can’t wait to get home and take a bath in a great bath soak I got when I went in for my acupuncture and dive under the covers.

Can I also share about this new discovery I made over the weekend. A pomegranate liqueur that was simply fabulous. It was served with champagne and called a “champama” but I’m also imagining it in martini’s and mojito’s at well. For those coming to the holiday party expect to see it there.

Speaking of parties I need to find a dress and a mask by Saturday. I ordered a dress for a masquerade ball and the company called me today (I ordered it a while back) to say oh it’s on back order. BOOOOOOOOO. Now I need to scramble and find something last minute which I hate doing. I think I’m about to just splurge and get the david.meister number I’ve been looking at for months anyway. I have several things I can use it for so that will make it worth the cost right lol.

Well back to the grind. Have a meeting in a few.

You have such a pure heart. That made me feel like wow. When this guy said this to me the other day in the midst of our conversation that made me feel so great. I think that is one of the best compliments I have ever received. It also made me think. Like wow what am I doing or how am I walking on my path that he saw that in me. So I asked. He pretty much told me that everything I do I seem to try and do it in good intention and that my generosity is crazy (he’s seen me help certain people out in a crunch whether it be with money, time or advice). He also said something that I REALLY didn’t know that he knew lol. He was like it’s a lot of temptation out here and you are trying to stay on path and wait it out which can be tough (No it is hard as heck ESPECIALLY when you’ve done “it” before lol). I totally appreciated what he said and took it to heart. He helped me out just with a minor statement. It’s really the little things.

Ahhh… It’s spa week in DC and I went to this new spot in maryland to partake in some of their services. When I go to a spa although I do love to get pampered and have frou frou amenities I lean more towards a spa that I can go to and feel like I’m at peace, a place with warmth and makes you feel comfprtable. So anyway I went to get two treatments monday and can I just say WONDERFUL. I started with acupuncture. This lady was so fabulous. I didn’t feel the needles at all except for one that was in a trigger area where I am having some pain and I felt it when I turned my head and forgot I had a needle in my ear lol. The only word I can use to describe the experience was freeing. Like I was really in there in another state of mind just talking to God when she left me in the room. I just felt so calm and relaxed and at ease. Totally free. Then when she was done I went into their foot lounge and had the best foot treatment ever. The guy was amazing. he served me tea and gave me a neck wrap and an eye cover and I just relaxed. I haven’t had the chance to just put my mind at ease in weeks. Work is stressing me and in there it disappeared. I’m usually all edgy and looking around and trying to figure out what someone is doing to me. But I don’t know why I trusted this dude. In a room. Alone. Him all on my feet and legs lol. But I did and I was so relaxed. I think I almost drooled lol.

Have you ever found out some information that totally threw you for a loop. That happened to me me today, Found out that a friend of mine is secretly talking to a guy that another friend of mine is talking to. Not like they are random friends, we all hang tough. How do you just listen to someone talk about their relationship issues, give them advice and then mess with the same dude. I’m blown… totally by the foolishness.

I went out to dinner with some friends last night in dc. We had a really great time with each other chatting and reminiscing on our high school years. But sometimes I wonder if a lot of times we stay in friendships because it’s convenient and easy. We relate in a lot of different areas but other areas there are vast differences…. to the point of me saying if we had met now as opposed to when we were 14 would we actually be friends. It’s really interesting. I love them to death but I really wonder.

My calves hurt. I have a headache. I’m drinking some nasty ass tea (I love tea but this particular detox tea is nasty). And tracking points. The things we do for our health. It is worth it in the end and I feel wonderful the more and more I do it. But the process is killer.

Jill Scott. This chicks cd is crazy (I’m listening in my office). It’s another side of Jill that I like, really erotic and sensual in a lot of ways. And that joint celibacy blues…geez. Can I relate lol.

Ban.anaRe.public I do believe is trying to get me. Seriously. I think 60percent of my current wardrobe is from them and they keep sending me coupons and ish where I can get triple reward points for shopping. I also believe Nordstrom is in cahoots with them as well. I’m going need yall to stop sending me handwritten thank you notes in the mail (which I’m sure yall probably know I’m all about traditional correspondence lol) saying you appreciate me as a customer. That just makes me want to come back and give you more commission.

Have you ever heard someone speak and they kind of just took your breath away and overwhelmed you and made you glad that you could be in their presence? It’s happened to me a few times but yesterday I had one of those moments when I went to a rally to hear someone speak. It was kind of one of those moments that had me like this is so refreshing and now I see why I do what I do and why I’m involved in what I’m involved in. Made me ready to go out and take over the world

Lentil soup. Is what I’m currently eating. Made it from scratch and it is sooooooooooo freaking good. I’m glad this cool weather is back in effect. I didn’t want to be near the kitchen when it was blazing out. Salad and grilling all the way. I love being in the kitchen, washing and cutting vegetables, cleaning beans, having stuff simmering in the le creuset, getting my hands into stuff. Fall is such a great time a year for cooking and the farmers market.

Speaking of fall.. Thank you for finally arriving. You are my favorite season and my sweaters and dresses and boots were wondering if you were going to arrive. Although I love a warm day, I appreciate the coolness, and the leaves turning, and the changing of the season. So in spite of being late thanks for finally showing up.